The Online Workbook
This workbook was created as a companion to Motherhood on Hold and The M.O.M. Project.
It is designed to guide mothers through the painful realities of custody loss while offering hope, structure, and practical tools for healing.
Each section combines reflection, exercises, and encouragement to help you process your experiences, rebuild your confidence, and take steps toward a future where you and your children can thrive.
You are not alone on this journey — this workbook is here to remind you that your story is still unfolding, and there is strength in every page you complete.
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Workbook Introduction
This workbook is your guide to rebuilding the bridge between you and your children. Designed as a companion to Motherhood on Hold: A Bridge to Family Reunification, it provides practical tools, reflective exercises, and actionable steps to help you navigate the journey of healing, growth, and reconnection.
This workbook is your guide to rebuilding the bridge between you and your children. Designed as a companion to Motherhood on Hold: A Bridge to Family Reunification, it provides practical tools, reflective exercises, and actionable steps to help you navigate the journey of healing, growth, and reconnection.
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Getting Started
Before we dive into the practical tools and exercises that will help you build your Bridge to Reunification, it’s important to take a step back and reflect on why you’re here and who you are as a noncustodial mother. This chapter is about grounding yourself in the foundational understanding of your journey. It’s about acknowledging where you’ve been, where you are now, and why you are taking these steps toward healing and reconnection.
Before we dive into the practical tools and exercises that will help you build your Bridge to Reunification, it’s important to take a step back and reflect on why you’re here and who you are as a noncustodial mother. This chapter is about grounding yourself in the foundational understanding of your journey. It’s about acknowledging where you’ve been, where you are now, and why you are taking these steps toward healing and reconnection.
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Acknowledging Your Role as a Noncustodial Mother
To begin this journey, it’s essential to take a moment to acknowledge your unique role as a noncustodial mother. This role is not one that many women imagine for themselves, and it comes with its own set of challenges, emotions, and societal perceptions. However, acknowledging where you stand is the first step toward healing and rebuilding.
To begin this journey, it’s essential to take a moment to acknowledge your unique role as a noncustodial mother. This role is not one that many women imagine for themselves, and it comes with its own set of challenges, emotions, and societal perceptions. However, acknowledging where you stand is the first step toward healing and rebuilding.
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The Emotional Landscape of a Noncustodial Mother
Becoming a noncustodial mother creates a seismic shift in the emotional foundation of your life. It’s a unique and often misunderstood experience, one that challenges your sense of identity and demands an ongoing navigation of complex emotions. The journey is anything but linear, and it’s important to acknowledge and explore the emotional terrain you now find yourself in.
Becoming a noncustodial mother creates a seismic shift in the emotional foundation of your life. It’s a unique and often misunderstood experience, one that challenges your sense of identity and demands an ongoing navigation of complex emotions. The journey is anything but linear, and it’s important to acknowledge and explore the emotional terrain you now find yourself in.
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Why Are You Here?
Every journey begins with a reason—a moment, a feeling, or an experience that pushes us to take the first step. You are here because something within you yearns for healing, understanding, and growth. Whether you stumbled upon this workbook out of curiosity, desperation, or determination, the fact that you are here speaks volumes about your resilience and hope.
Every journey begins with a reason—a moment, a feeling, or an experience that pushes us to take the first step. You are here because something within you yearns for healing, understanding, and growth. Whether you stumbled upon this workbook out of curiosity, desperation, or determination, the fact that you are here speaks volumes about your resilience and hope.
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Honoring Your Strengths
It’s easy to focus on what went wrong—the mistakes, the missteps, the moments you wish you could take back. But the fact that you’re here today, reading these words and committing to this journey, is proof that you possess remarkable strength. Too often, we overlook our strengths, dismissing them as insignificant or unworthy of acknowledgment. But in truth, your strengths are the foundation of your resilience and your path forward.
It’s easy to focus on what went wrong—the mistakes, the missteps, the moments you wish you could take back. But the fact that you’re here today, reading these words and committing to this journey, is proof that you possess remarkable strength. Too often, we overlook our strengths, dismissing them as insignificant or unworthy of acknowledgment. But in truth, your strengths are the foundation of your resilience and your path forward.
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Facing Challenges Without Judgment
One of the most significant hurdles in your journey as a noncustodial mother is learning to face your challenges without judgment. Often, we are our own harshest critics. It’s easy to replay past mistakes in your mind, criticizing yourself for what you could have done differently or wondering if you’re unworthy of redemption. But judgment keeps us stuck. It holds us in a cycle of shame and regret that prevents us from moving forward.
One of the most significant hurdles in your journey as a noncustodial mother is learning to face your challenges without judgment. Often, we are our own harshest critics. It’s easy to replay past mistakes in your mind, criticizing yourself for what you could have done differently or wondering if you’re unworthy of redemption. But judgment keeps us stuck. It holds us in a cycle of shame and regret that prevents us from moving forward.
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Building a Foundation of Hope
Hope is the cornerstone of your Bridge to Reunification. Without it, the journey ahead can feel impossible. Hope doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine; it means believing in the possibility of change and trusting in your ability to create a better future.
Hope is the cornerstone of your Bridge to Reunification. Without it, the journey ahead can feel impossible. Hope doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine; it means believing in the possibility of change and trusting in your ability to create a better future.
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Preparing for the Journey Ahead
Hope is the cornerstone of your Bridge to Reunification. Without it, the journey ahead can feel impossible. Hope doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine; it means believing in the possibility of change and trusting in your ability to create a better future.
Hope is the cornerstone of your Bridge to Reunification. Without it, the journey ahead can feel impossible. Hope doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine; it means believing in the possibility of change and trusting in your ability to create a better future.
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Founder Statement
My name is Rachel Tanner, and I founded The M.O.M. Project because I’ve lived what so many of you are going through.
I know the heartbreak of custody loss. I know what it feels like to sit in a courtroom and feel like your voice doesn’t matter, to battle with addiction and mental health, to carry the weight of shame and judgment, and to wonder if life will ever feel whole again.
For years, I believed my mistakes had disqualified me from being the mother I longed to be. But through time, healing, and refusing to give up, I discovered something powerful: being a mother doesn’t end when you lose custody. Your love, your worth, and your right to heal are still here.
The M.O.M. Project was born out of that truth. I built this community so no other mother would have to walk this road alone. Here, you’ll find safety, compassion, and tools to help you start again, no matter how hopeless things may feel right now.
FAQs
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This workbook is for any mother who has experienced custody loss, guardianship battles, adoption separation, incarceration, addiction, or other challenges that have created distance between her and her children. It’s also for mothers who simply feel disconnected and want to heal.
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Yes. The workbook is available exclusively through our members-only page to ensure confidentiality and provide added resources alongside it.
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The workbook includes trauma-informed exercises, journaling prompts, and recovery tools designed to help you process maternal custodial trauma, rebuild self-worth, and begin your healing journey.
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Yes. Your responses are private and for your eyes only unless you choose to share them. The M.O.M. Project will never collect or review what you write.
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There is no “right” way — it’s meant to be flexible. You can go through it at your own pace, return to sections when you need them, or use it alongside our peer groups and other support resources.
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Yes. Once you have access, you may download and print the workbook for personal use. Sharing, posting, or distributing it outside The M.O.M. Project community is not permitted.
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No. The workbook is an educational and supportive tool. It does not replace counseling, legal representation, or medical treatment. If you need professional help, we encourage you to seek licensed providers in those fields.
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Yes. Members will continue to receive access to updated tools, new exercises, and additional resources as The M.O.M. Project grows.