Adoption

A Letter From a Mom Who Relinquished Her Child for Adoption

Dear Mama,

I will never forget the weight of the pen in my hand the day I signed those papers. My fingers were trembling, my chest was tight, and every part of me was screaming not to let go. People told me I was being strong, that I was giving my child a better life, but inside I felt like I was dying. Watching someone else walk away with my baby felt like my heart was being carried out of the room.

Afterward, the world kept moving, but I didn’t. I didn’t know what to call myself anymore. I wasn’t pregnant. I wasn’t parenting. I was a mother, but I didn’t feel like one. The grief was heavy and confusing, because it was tied up with love and loss at the same time. I didn’t know if I was allowed to grieve, because everyone told me I had “done the right thing.”

It took a long time to understand that my love didn’t end when I signed those papers. It still lives inside me, and it always will. I didn’t stop being a mother. My motherhood just looks different than I thought it would.

If you are carrying this kind of pain, I want you to know it’s real. Your grief is real. Your love is real. You don’t have to bury it or be ashamed of it. You are still a mother, and your child will always carry a piece of you.

With compassion,

A mom who let go but never stopped loving