Domestic Violence

A LETTER FROM A MOTHER WHO LOST CUSTODY OF HER CHILDREN DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Dear Mama,

The night I left, I stuffed clothes into a trash bag, grabbed my children, and ran out the door. My heart was pounding, and I didn’t know where we were going, but I knew we couldn’t stay. For years, I told myself staying was better for the kids, that two parents under one roof mattered more than safety. But that night, I finally understood that protecting them meant protecting myself too.

We spent weeks in shelters, moving between couches, living out of bags. I thought once we were free, the hardest part was behind us. I believed people would see how much courage it took to walk away. But instead, the courtroom became another battlefield. My abuser painted me as unstable, accused me of being reckless for leaving in the middle of the night. He had more money, more connections, and somehow the story turned against me.

I remember sitting there, hearing the judge award him custody, and feeling like the floor had dropped out from under me. I had risked everything to keep my children safe, and still, I lost them. It felt cruel and senseless, like being punished for doing the right thing.

For a long time, I lived with anger and shame. But over time, I’ve learned that what I did mattered. My children may not remember every detail, but they will know one day that I chose safety. They will know I had the courage to walk away from violence. And even though I don’t have custody, I am still their mother. I am still fighting to show them love in whatever way I can.

If you have lived through this, please hear me: leaving was not wrong. The system may not have seen the truth, but that does not erase it. You are brave. You are worthy. You are still their mother.

With strength,

A mom who left to save her children and still lost them in court